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I come back from every retreat feeling overwhelmed with God’s work, not knowing where to start when I try to write it down.
God did so much at this retreat.
One girl, her brother has been coming to youth for a while but still hasn’t given his life to JC. She signed up for my workshop Chrstianity 101. As I was explaining the gospel, she started asking really intense questions that made it clear that she wasn’t a Chrstian but was really interested. Afterwards, she and a friend came and thanked me for the workshop, but I didn’t know what happened.
The next night, the speaker gave a call to be a follower of Chrst. I didn’t see her raise her hand or stand up, but afterwards during worship, I looked out into the crowd and saw her singing the worship songs with all her heart, tears streaming down her face. She was so emotional, eventually I saw her brother lead her out of the room. I’m hoping to talk to her sometime this weekend and find out all that happened.
Another youth was really struggling with going to the retreat in the first place; the highschool prom somehow got scheduled on the same weekend, and he really wanted to go. Plus, a ton of other stuff was going on in his life too.
Without going into details, basically what happened was that practically EVERY session seemed to be put together JUST for him! 
Testimonies, messages, worship songs, everything (!) seemed to point right to the issue, and on the last night, he stood up with the others to say “Yeah, Jesus. Make me a disciple who is SOLD OUT for You!”
The night of the Prom, we were sitting around talking and he told me, “I’d SOO rather be here than at Prom right now. Next year, if Prom is on the same day, I’m totally coming to retreat.” *Smile*
And for me.
The last night, before the alter call, before the message, we were singing “The Stand.” I turned around and looked at all the kids singing, with their hands in the air, praising Gd. I felt kinda guilty looking around instead of worshiping, but it just brought me so much joy to see all those youth praising Gd. After this, I sat down and started to pray.
It was very slight, but I felt like maybe Gd spoke to me and said, “Are you willing to do this [serve the youth of Shanghai] for the next 50 years?”
People have been asking me how long I plan on staying in Shanghai. I’ve been telling them, “Until He leads me somewhere else!” What I felt like Gd might be saying was, “Put down your anchor; this is where I’ve got you for a while. This is where I’ve called you long-term; be ready to stay.”
Then I felt like He showed me the cost. He showed me the pain and stress and weariness from counseling suicidal kids; speaking to others who simply wouldn’t hear. The lack of sleep and emotional, physical, mental, and even at times spiritual fatigue I would be facing. The things I’d have to give up: going back to America (long-term), maybe having a family (at least in the near future), etc.
Honestly, some of the cost really hit me, especially the sacrifice and knowing the trials that would come along with it. But then Gd reminded me that it’s HIS plan, and He has everything in His hands and He has my BEST INTERESTS in mind. I told him, “Yes, if it’s Your plan, I trust You. I trust that this is the best it could be for me. Yes! A thousand times over, yes.”
So, I know this sounds pretty cut and dry on paper, but it was more foggy when it happened and part of me still wonders if I didn’t just make this up. But, the more I share this with others, the more I start to believe it was really Gd speaking. I’m still praying about it.
Would appreciate your pryers for me, the youth I mentioned here, and all the youth who Gd touched at retreat.
